I thought I had the perfect boyfriend two months ago, but I broke up with him. Not to mention cheated on him with the best friend of my current boyfriend, which is how I met my current boyfriend. My current boyfriend is even more perfect than the last was, yet I find myself unable to stop flirting, which is okay, but I cannot stop from seriously considering some other prospects.
I have almost everything I could ask for in Henry. We share the same sense of humour, and when I am with him we laugh at everything about one another. He makes me feel comfortable with my body, and makes me feel beautiful and cared for. He would cheat his way through a test in school in a heartbeat, but he would never betray a friend or me. I have never in my life met a guy I was more compatible with. And yet….
My eyes still keep wandering! It is not just that I am attracted to other guys, but that they are attracted to me as well. I cannot stop from wanting to kiss some of them, and it is a challenge because I know that I could.
I am falling in love with Henry, but the problem is I am already in love with someone else- mankind. And no matter how much I love him, I love men in general.
Would it really betray Henry if I were to make out with Alex one night, if it meant nothing more than I wanted to kiss him? From his perspective it would. Henry’s last relationship lasted four years and he did not cheat once. I can barely go a month without wanting to. His character is better than mine I think.
I am going to try and be faithful, because he does deserve that. But…it’s hard, and perhaps, not even biologically natural for me. Just because I am a girl, does it mean I am supposed to want to be with one person my whole life?
Tags: boyfriend, cheating, girlfriend, monogamy
August 26, 2008 at 4:28 pm |
No, that’s the beauty of personal choice – you don’t have to be with the same person, you can live your life anyway you wish, and the only person whose wishes and judgment matter is your own.
From the references to school in your post I will take it you are quite young, and heres another thing – I am now 27, and I am just coming around to the idea of commitment, before it never phased me, never bothered me, I made no promises, told no lies. I lived exactly how I wanted to, and I loved every second of it.
When you are young you have the looks, the freedom, the body, the stamina to have fun – don’t try and make yourself fit a mould that maybe your not ready to fit in now or ever.
Your free to be exactly who you are.