I can’t let him no how much I like him- I can’t let him win

August 8, 2008 at 7:32 am (attraction, dating, love, Love Affairs, nightlife) (dating, love, nightclubs, war of sexes)

Intro: I REALLY like a guy, he KNOWS I really like him, and this is the situation and how I am going to regain the status I lost:

I met Phillip in a club on a Monday nights, when he approached my friend and I as we stood on the terrace outside chatting. We soon were talking with him, and tried to convince him to dance with us. I was interested in him, but not sure if he liked my friend or me. She is pretty too, so I think he liked both.

“I am a very good dancer, but I am too drunk to dance,” he said.

“Since when can anyone be too drunk to dance?” I asked him.

“Since I was born,” he replied.

We eventually coerced him, when I told him as we were walking away that he either he followed us or he did not. He said he would meet us there. He probably went and drank more because he was lying and he is NOT  a good dancer, and then came to dance with us. I thought it was all cute. I do not mind a bad dancer, if I like the guy I find it endearing.

Two weeks later I met him in the same club on a Monday night, after several nights of trying to meet up but never having it work out. He was with one friend, who semi-hit on me all night. I decided I really liked Phillip, and only flirted minimally with his friend (is it possible to NOT flirt with someone semi-attractive of your sex of choice?) My first mistake.

Then I spotted the ex-boyfriend of my friend, and rushed over to talk to him. I was extremely drunk, I have no other reason for why I wanted to speak with him so badly. Phillip saw me pull Steve outside and when I came back inside he was dancing with a pretty, cute blonde girl. She gave him her number I freaked out, internally.

I began dancing with his friend, and when he came over to us I gave him the dirtiest look I could. He laughed. I have an expressive face- the message was transmitted. He tried to dance with me again, but I shook my head. I went outside and he followed me. There began our chat, in which I gave myself away.

“Don’t you have another girl to be dancing with?” I hissed.

“What? You mean that girl? I am a friendly person, I like to have a lot of friends. But you don’t believe me, do you?”

“Why should I? I don’t care anyway, but don’t think…don’t think….” I began.

“Don’t think what…?” he asked.

“You can’t have us both. I liked you, I like you, but it does not matter!” I said in my drunk incoherence (I was VERY drunk)

“C, look, I can’t talk about my feelings. That girl i don’t even know, but I can’t talk about how I feel. I am not like that, it is very hard for me.” he said uneasily.

“Well, do you think it is easy for me?” I asked him.

“Oh C, I don’t know.”

I thought it was over at this point, I felt like such a fool. I had confessed to liking him, while he avoided answering. I told him I was leaving. He told me not to go, and he took my hand and held it, and gazed into my eyes, and then I understood. He has deep brown eyes, beautiful skin, a wonderfully strong and muscular body, and I simply melted inside. “Come and dance with me,” he said. And I did, and we danced and kissed the rest of the night while he ignored the blonge girl. I must admit I kept giving her dirty looks.

Phillip and I parted from one another leaving the club at 7a.m. and I rode on cloud NINE until yesteryday, when he texted me a message saying, “What’s cracking?” It took him two days to say that. He KNOWS he has me now, so I have to make him doubt it. Here is my plan:

1. Do not write him back until at least Saturday, since I received the message on Thursday

2. Tell him that I have been really busy, and answer tersely

3. ? What else should I do?  Should I wait until Monday?

Phillip is insecure like me, so with him I must make act like someone should with me- make him doubt himself. I like him a great deal, but he cannot know. It is always a mistake for someone like me to know that we have someone else. We want to fight for them, like I am, for him.