1. The first and only time I did cocaine. Probably why it was the only time. I began to shake almost uncontrollably. My mind kept disappearing, going into these inhuman hallucinations where creatures that were hybrid human monster were playing together, and everytime I came back to reality I would have think first: what am I? where am I? who am I? and by the time I began to recall myself I went into another hallucination. This went on for hours, and my shaking last over 12.
2. When I began to hate the tennis team at school, and found my mind picturing awful things happening to them- like the roof collapsing- without even realizing I was doing it. Fortunately I quit the team. Someone asked me how I was one day and I said “I’m not stable how do you think I am?”
3. When I thought my professor was reading my mind. First came the time he looked at me and I saw a flash of light and almost blacked out, and then was afraid to look at him for three classes because I was afraid I would faint if I did. I was convinced he heard me tell him something psychically after that one day, and began to freak out because even when apart I thought he was getting in. We were very connected, but I REALLY hope he did not know what I was thinking.
4. At the airport before my flight to israel. My thoughts I no longer trusted- who were they coming from? What was that voice in my head? Did it always sound like that? What if someone got into me and took over? It took two days for me to feel sane again.
5 When I walked around Paris alone crying. My sister and I split up after an intense fight, and I wandered the city feeling as though I was a corpse that could feel and cry, not sure how anyone else could be human or relate to one another. I dreamed of jumping off buildings, to feel free for a moment.
Tags: anxiety, drug overdose, insanity
